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Patience

Learning about patience through an incense-making miscalculation.

A small piece of a coreless, Japanese-style incense stick burning in a black cast-iron burner.


By Nathan Upchurch

Some time ago, maybe a year or so, I extruded a batch of incense sticks from some ingredients I thought might go well together: sandalwood, cinnamon, dragon’s blood resin, a touch of Hojari frankincense for acidity, and some tonka bean for sweetness, if I recall correctly. After leaving the sticks to dry overnight, I was disappointed to see that they didn’t stay lit; the stick would shrink behind the ember, and it would fizzle out in short order. Even worse, the little scent I was able to detect during the short burn was terrible: acrid and smoky. Dejected, I put the sticks away, returning to attempt to burn a small fragment every few days or so before I lost interest entirely.

A few months later, the tube of crooked red incense sticks caught my eye, and I once again attempted to burn a stick. To my surprise, it stayed lit throughout the entire burn. The fragrance had transformed also, from leafy-campfire to a simple, warm, slightly sweet, and medicinal fragrance. While this was enough of an improvement to encourage me to light one every now and then, I remained disappointed that the fragrance was so far from what I’d hoped to achieve. After half-heartedly burning each stick in the little plastic tube that housed them over a period of weeks, the tube disappeared into a basket on the shelf beneath my coffee table amidst a mess of bundled cables and game-controllers, never to be seen again – until just a few days ago.

A small piece of a coreless, Japanese-style incense stick burning in a black cast-iron burner.
The last fragment.

While rustling around in search of a controller, I discovered the thin plastic tube, noticing two small fragments of incense sliding about as I lifted the tube from the basket. As I lit the first fragment this morning, I was met with a wonderfully clear impression of dragon’s blood, uplifted by the bright citrus of Hojari frankincense, on a sweet, warm, woody base; my incense had turned out well after all. Unfortunately, the recipe, written on the tube in dry-erase marker, had long worn off; thinking the batch was a failure, I hadn’t recorded it anywhere else. Burning those last two fragments today was bittersweet; all I had needed to do was wait. I’m frustrated about a number of things here, but there is something oddly gratifying about the situation. By failing to record the recipe, I got to experience something rare and unique today. In those peaceful, fragrant moments, I experienced something lovely for the first and last time — and I learned a thing or two about patience.

Nathan Upchurch
Nathan likes to cook vegan food, play the trombone, make incense, design stuff, muck about with free software and tech, and more. He dreams of living in a cottage somewhere and spending his days making incense sticks. Sadly, he can not afford to do this.

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